I myself have felt depressed but haven’t ever suffered depression. But I do know close family and friends who have suffered it. It is an illness of the mind in terms of how we view things.
After giving birth to my baby boy back in July I was on top of the world. Midwives and Health visitors would ask me how I was feeling. Truth is I was feeling ecstatic, I didn’t understand how new mothers could feel overwhelmed or depressed.
However I did have a great support system. My mother, husband, siblings and father in law, extended family were there for me every step of the way. My husband and I have a huge group of friends and we were the first ones to have a child out of our group. I was very lucky and blessed even throughout my pregnancy. My mother lives fairly local to me so she pampered me throughout. My husband was amazing and I absolutely love my job. I am very close to my work colleagues they were very supportive throughout my pregnancy.
I had a traumatic birth so the first month and a half I stayed over at my mums house recovering. Once I got better we went back to our house. In my mums house everyone looked after my son for me. We also had lots of visitors visiting us nearly every day. I live with my in laws but I now had to step up and look after my son all by myself. The first few months I loved it, I felt like a proper mum.
Friends and family were still visiting. My husband and I are very social so we were going for dinners with our friends taking Aydin along with us. Sometimes my mother would babysit and we would go out with friends. I was enjoying motherhood and loving life.
Nevertheless 1 day that sad feeling just crept up on me all of a sudden. Because I am such a strong person I felt that this feeling was a weakness so I hid it. There was no reason behind the sadness it was this feeling of anxiety, stress and feeling like I was sinking. I stopped going out, socialising and I was overeating. I added on a lot of weight during this period, food was a form of medication.
One day I decided enough was enough. I ended up confiding in my husband and it really took the burden of my shoulders. Just talking about it and owning it helped. He advised me to go out more with Aydin and to start socialising again. We googled things to do with babies in the local area and found out we actually had a lot of facilities for babies.
I took my son to our local children centre, we attended baby massage classes. We went to the local library for singing nursery rhyme sessions. I would go for walks to the park, the local Starbucks, shopping, meeting up friends. We even went to the local cinema.
I also started to go swimming and yoga classes with my mum. It would really relax me. I had a close school friend who was training to become a masseuse so she would ask me to come in so she could practice on me. I also started to do home facials with those L’Oréal clay masks, have long hot bubble baths (or those Lush bath bombs) with candles. I literally felt like a new revived person. Just that feeling of pampering me did the world of good.
Furthermore it helped bring me closer to my religion. I was praying throughout my pregnancy but had stopped. Praying was almost therapeutic to me. It was a way to detoxify my soul from the negative energy and fill it up with the positive.
I also started to eat healthy and working out. Working out helped me zone out and it really helped my anxiety.
I also deleted and limited a lot of my social media. As I felt I wasted a lot of time on it and would rather spend my time doing something productive. Plus many studies showed that social media can have a negative impact in our lives. I now have a strict routine for myself and my son. I also keep a diary and a to-do list. These lists provide me with a purpose and outline my day.
Overall I have become a nicer person. (If I do say so myself) Others have also noticed this change in me too. I have learnt not to hold grudges or get upset easily. I forgive everyone who has wronged me as anger is a horrible emotion to keep and a waste of energy. I ignore any negative comments made towards me. Whenever I do feel angry I take myself out of the situation and take some deep breathes. I was a very angry person, the anger would control me and make me do things I would regret later. I now control my anger and my life has never been better.
A positive mind-set can open up so many doors of opportunity and it is the best feeling. Make sure to surround yourself with positive people avoid or ignore the negative people. Happiness is a feeling within one self. It is a feeling we control. Inner happiness and peace of mind is not linked to objects or materialistic things. It is linked to how we make others feel.